jen’s not expecting payment for services rendered sterek fic recs
derek assumes stiles is a prostitute/escort
- Untitled by rlnerdgirl
- Untitled by rlnerdgirl
- gave your smile to me by Sarageek16
- Untitled by scottydelgados
stiles assumes derek is a prostitute/escort
derek assumes stiles is soliciting him for sex
jen’s addams family sterek fic recs
where the Hales are the Beacon Hills’ equivalent of the Addams family
My friend Dev (she’s not in the tw fandom) found this fucking coke
WITH WHAT’S OBVIOUSLY STILES’ NAME ON IT:
STILES IS UPSET HE DIDN’T FIND IT FIRST
where derek gets a coke and is like, contemplating how he can share it and like stiles is like
OMG MY NAME
and tries to steal it or buy it off derek
who misconstrues and thinks stiles is soliciting him for sex
DEREK IS LIKE
NO THANK YOU
BUT YOU ARE HOT
Derek should be offended. He really really should, but he can’t help feel a little bit smug for…
"How much? Seriously, if it’s reasonable, I’ll pay it," the cute guy repeats and he just looks at Derek excitedly.
He knows it’s not the guy’s fault. Derek was turning on a corner, coming back from the grocery shopping, and ended up bumping into someone - his things ended up everywhere. And then the guy - cute moles, whiskey eyes even under the bad light, messy blowjob hair, lean muscles - grabs one of Derek’s just bought cokes and snaps his head up just looking at Derek with want, saying “how much?”
Derek gets it. He does. He was in a corner and he’s only wearing skinny jeans and a tight black shirt with a lot of holes on it and it’s freaking midnight. He probably does look like a hooker who stopped for a dinner break, considering that his groceries most included sodas and snacks. (And not to be cocky or anything, Derek works out. He knows what he looks like, alright. He might be shy, but he doesn’t lack on self-confidence.)
"Uh," Derek is able to form, when his brain starts working again, because cute guy wants to bone him "I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be able to do that for money.”
Derek decides to ignore his blush. He is not blushing. And he’s most definitely not thinking that the guy’s frown is cute. Nop.
"Couldn’t you just give it to me, then?" Cute guy says teasing, but he sounds so hopeful and Derek wants to yell hell yeah, I would love to give it to you right here right now, but that would probably go bad; the guy is picking up hookers at a Wednesday night - Derek gets attached and cute guy just wants to fuck around.
"I think you’re really cute, but I can’t. Sorry."
"Why not?" Oh man, cute guy has a really nice confused face. "You have no idea how long I’ve been looking for this, dude!" He even shakes Derek’s coke for emphasis "It has been months and I tried emailing an order for one, ya know, but apparently the minimum is a hundred of them at once and I’m thirsty for it, but not that thirsty! I mean, I thought about throwing a party and just sharing them all, but I thought it might be awkward later? Like, I’ve drank your…”
"I got it!" Derek hurries to interrupt and he’s blushing and ohmygod, he doesn’t know if he’s grossed out or turned on (since when Derek finds orgies hot? This guy is doing things to him!),because apparently cute guy almost paid for a thousand hookers and now is just begging for Derek. “I… I’m flattered that you’re asking it for me, really, but I…”
"I’ll give you a hundred bucks!" Cute guys just cuts him, like he wasn’t even listening. "Just, please…”
Suddenly, Derek doesn’t feel so flattered anymore, because—-
"Only a hundred bucks? Seriously?”
"I think that’s way more than fair!"
"If it was the opposite, how much you think I’d charge you?"
"I don’t know!" Derek yells, "I already said I find you cute! I wouldn’t… But if I would, you’re worth at least a thousand!"
Cute opens his mouth, but abruptly shuts it. ”Did you just say I’m worth a thousand?”
"Not you," he sighs, because he’s already completely red again, "a night with you, like… you know what I mean."
"Uh," cute guy is looking at him like Derek’s completely insane "I don’t think I do. Sooo, let’s make this clear: I was trying to buy your coke, because it has my name on it and you have no idea how hard it is to find a can that says Przemyslaw.”
Derek looks at the coke on cute guy’s - Przemyslaw - hands and…
Oh holy fuckin—-This is awkward.
"Now, please enlighten me with your version of the facts," he continues, because apparently he’s putting things together and enjoying Derek’s embarrassment.
"I… I thought you thought I was a hooker." Przemyslaw just burst out laughing and Derek wants to die. He does. Please bury him. Now. He doesn’t need to go through this shit, he… "Have the can. I’ll just…" kill myself somewhere else.
"Oh no. I get why you thought that… Now that I am replying our conversation, I can see my mistake. How much. Geez, I’m sorry to harass you. Not that it was my intention.”
"It’s fine. I was the one who got everything wrong." Because of course cute guy doesn’t want to sleep with him. Derek has no luck with his love life. "Look, Przemyslaw, I…"
"My name. Stiles. Well, everyone I know call me Stiles. Actually, only three people even know my real name. Well, four now.” Prz… Stiles said smiling. Derek only nodded. “And I know you just said I could have it, but wouldn’t you want to share a coke with me, like it says right here?”
"I thought you were offering me a hundred bucks for sex." Derek blurts out.
"And that’s hilarious. You’re the only person I ever heard saying my name properly. I can’t let you go now." Derek huffs, feeling himself blush again. "Besides, word is on the streets you find me cute."
"I thought you weren’t paying attention to what I was saying."
"Pfff, please. You think I’m worth at least a thousand bucks. I’m keeping you."
Derek rolls his eyes. “Don’t get too excited. Let’s share that coke first, shall we?”
They share the coke. And, in the end, Stiles does keep him.
I LOVE IT WHEN PROMPTS FIND HOMES
jen’s sterek dick pics fic recs
it’s apparently the newest form of flirting
stiles sends derek a dick pic
- untitled by lycantrophies
- No Homo by RemainNameless
- early worm gets the bird by joosetta
- untitled by snugglederek
derek sends stiles a dick pic
jen’s online dating sterek fic recs
dating on the line
jen’s hooked on a feeling sterek fic recs
in love with a mystery (fics where either stiles or derek haven’t met each other but are already hooked by a feeling, a scent or a livejournal account)
- Scent Left Unsaid by bleep0bleep
- five stars by bleep0bleep
- 'Linski's Late Night Antidote To Lame by WhoNatural
- The Sweet Little Things That You Do by Jellyfax
- It’s Not So Hard to Make That Sound by Flinched
- Reach Out by weathervaanes
- You’re a Dream to Me by lady_ragnell
- You Fit Me Better by Jerakeen
- The Thickening of Your Scent by ladylade
- Pining With a Side Order of Courtship— Done Backwards, of Course by lielabell
let me know if you can think of more
"Maybe I needed a change. I don’t really know. I guess… I kind of felt d r a w n here.”
wtf teen wolf
Werewolf War Torn AU or something IDEK
This started out as a quick sketch of Scott in response to this post and then just spun wildly out of my control oops.
THERE’S BEEN AN INCIDENT AND THE PRESIDENT’S SON (WHO IS SO VERY LOVED BY THE PUBLIC) NEEDS TO BE MOVED NOW
[movie narrator voice] IN A WORLD WHERE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD’S ONLY WEAKNESS ISHIS QUICK-TO-DODGE-SECURITY- ENTHUSIASTIC-FRESHLY-GRADUATED-FROM-COLLEGE SON, THE COUNTRY IS ON EDGE WHEN THE FIRST SON DISAPPEARS. THE RANSOM DEMAND IS HIGH BUT THE STAKES ARE CLEAR THE KIDNAPPERS MEAN TO SEND A MESSAGE AND DON’T PLAN ON RETURNING HIM ALIVE. THE ONE FORMER SECRET SERVICE AGENT WHO QUIT HIS JOB MONTHS AGO BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF GETTING TOO CLOSE TO HIS CHARGE NOW IS DETERMINED TO BRING HIM BACK
[dramatic fade to black, the music swells and then fades, and then the only sound is the slick slide of leather over skin]